Dysfunctional Families vs God’s Grace(2)

A Sermon series on the Life of Joseph

Gen. 37

What you sow you reap.

A generation after Abraham, his son Isaac repeats the same mistake.

-Gen 26, we read that Isaac and his beautiful wife Rebecca visit the same king, king Abimelech of the Philistines in Grear. Like father like son. When people ask him about his wife Rebecca, he says she is his sister.

Do you see how it passes from generation to generation?

-I have seen fathers who constantly lied. Unfortunately, their children did the same thing.

-Now this time (Gen 26:8) the king sees from his window that Isaac is “playing” (it meant to have sexual relationship) with Rebecca. The king says to Isaac, “She is really your wife! Why did you say, 'She is my sister'?”(Gen 26:9)

Same answer. “I was afraid that…”

Just before this incident, God spoke to Isaac, and told him He will bless them. He will keep His covenant with him, as He did with his father Abraham. I mean we expect Isaac to act differently after all the promises God gave him.

Do we trust God? Fear or Faith.

Abimelech learned his lesson. He was careful. He ordered his men not to touch this woman.

Yet, God’s grace is greater than our sins and mistakes. He blessed Isaac and Rebecca and gave them two boys, Esau and Jacob.

-Did they learn their lesson?

-I am not sure. Isaac favored Esau who was a hunter. Rebecca favored Jacob who was a cook.

I don’t know what do you think, but favoritism in families destroys relationships. I don’t know how healthy will be your family when you prefer one child to the other. Sometimes people ask me, “Who do you love more? Your son or daughter?”

What a sad question.

-This is a human tragedy. Sin destroys relationships. Like grandfather, like father, like son. This time Jacob lies to his father to receive the blessings.

I don’t know why Isaac was rushing to give his blessing to Esau. Interestingly, he lived for 40 more years after this event. Again, fear in his head motivated him to take action. Coming back to the story, he ordered his son Esau to hunt and bring food so he could bless him. But Rebecca and Jacob tricked their husband and father. Jacob received the blessing.

-The problem continues after this. While humans are making mistakes, God is not giving up from humanity. God is walking with His creatures day-by-day. Jacob learned many lessons to trust God in his life.

Yet, his family was a big mess. Two wives (Leah and Rachel), two maidservants and twelve children.

Think about the problems in this house.

Joseph had

three stepmothers,

ten stepbrothers,

and a stepsister

and one brother,

and all living in the same area, probably different tents. Talk about a dysfunctional family.

There was favoritism. There was gossip. There was jealousy. You name it…

The problem moves form generation to generation.

-Dina was Jacob’s daughter. She had sex with a man out of marriage. The man was not a Jew. Shechem was a Hivite. He loved Dina and asked his father to speak to Jacob to give him Dina. It seems Jacob’s brothers were more interested in family honor than Jacob. They agreed that everyone should be circumcised in the village, then they would give their sister to them. They did circumcise all the men of the village. When they were in pain of the circumcision, two brothers Simeon and Levi went and killed all the men in the village. Then eight brothers, instead of disagreeing with them, went and looted the place.

Lying, killing, robbery, not keeping a promise. Jacob was sad and worried. Joseph grew up in this mess.

What can we learn?

1- One can have an imperfect family (dysfunctional background), but God is able to grant us a new life.

Joseph was treated differently. He was spoiled and imperfect. He wore a long, colored garment given by his father. His garment was different than those of his brothers’. He wore “a tuxedo” when he went to the fields. He had some dreams, which he told to his family. They did not like them. I am not sure if He understood what his dreams meant. He ended up in a big mess. His brothers hated him; they were ready to kill him. Joseph had problems. YET, yet, he made a choice to be someone else.

-These days we keep hearing that we inherit certain problems from our family. I even heard that day that scientists found that men who carry a certain chromosome type will be disloyal to their wives. Funny that humanity tries to find someone to blame. “It is not our choice.” OK, I understand. Can the situation be different? Of course. Learn from Joseph. He stood firm. Later we will see that even in Egypt He learns to trust God daily. Joseph learned things in Egypt, that later in his life will be very important. Maybe he did not understand why these things were happening.

Joseph is not perfect. He is human like you and me. One thing was very important; He learned to walk with the Lord.

2- What about the wicked brothers?

-Reuben slept with one of his father’s wives. He lost his right to continue the family leadership. Although he did rescue Joseph from killing, yet he asked the brothers to throw him in a well instead.

-But another brother learned to repent and trust God. He was Judah. In Gen 38 we read about how he did not trust his sister-in-law Tamar. After encountering with Tamar, he learned a valuable lesson. There he made a statement: “She is more righteous than I.” (Gen 38:26)

Judah was the one who wanted to get rid of Joseph by selling him to the Egyptians. After many years, when Joseph became like prince in Egypt and his brothers went to take food, Joseph wanted his younger brother Benjamin to be brought to Egypt. This was a difficult thing to do. Jacob was not ready to give his last son to Egypt. But Judah convinced his father that he would be responsible for bringing him back safely. When they went back to Egypt, Joseph wanted Benjamin to stay there. Now listen to Judah’s answer, “Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord's slave in place of the boy, and let the boy return with his brothers.” (Gen 44:33)

What happen to the selfish, self-centered Judah?

Judah was changed. He repented. God’s grace is awesome. Instead of Reuben to be the successor of Jacob, Judah became the one. And read the gospel of Matthew and you will see the genealogy of Jesus where you will find Judah’s name. God is faithful in keeping His promise. The blessing of God continued.

Here is my topic for today: Dysfunctional families vs. God’s grace. God allows us to have a new chance. If I was not born above, born from God, born from Spirit of God, born of Jesus, I am nothing. My DNA’s and my genes are nothing. God transforms our minds. Paul says,

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them-yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. 1 Cor. 15:10

3. We must look at life in a wider scope. The course of life of Joseph is full of trouble. But God has a plan for each of us. Just be in tune with Him. He will guide us. Anger and revenge that we see in Joseph’s brothers did not help them at all. In fact, they became murderers and thieves.

Today some of us struggle with things we inherited.

Why am I acting like this?

Stop blaming others or situations. See how God can lead you day by day. He knows better. He has a plan for your life. Stop blaming others. Learn to trust God.

Please do not leave without prayer. May God lead you to trust more on Him rather acting out of your fears.

Amen