Father of the Family (2)

2 Timothy 3:14-17

In the Armenian sermon, I stressed the role of the father like Joshua who chose to worship God; not only he but also his household. He was a father who led his people starting from his own household.

2. Fathers, learn to be teachers and not provokers.

Paul says to the fathers of the Ephesians, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (6:4)

Can we provoke our children? Yes indeed, we can. In one of his sermons, Rev. John MacArthur gives ten ways we can provoke our children. Let me give you seven of those:

1. We provoke them by overprotecting them. Do you know that overprotection can become an idol? It might even indicate not trusting the Lord.

2. We provoke them by favoritism. I have seen this. You are better, you sister is better, and so on. This does not motivate you child, on the contrary, it agitates them.

3. We provoke them when we set unrealistic goals. Our children are often expected to perform beyond their limits. We do set high goals for them, but we might provoke our children when these goals become unrealistic. Such as playing “thousand” instruments, “thousand” sports, being involved in “thousand” activities and so on.

4. We provoke them when we discourage them. “Nothing can come out of you. You are a failure, you cannot do this, you are stupid.” You think parents don’t say these words?

5. We provoke them when we do not allow them to grow up. With the intention of helping them, we decide everything for them and do not give them any responsibilities. This will not help them grow.

6. We provoke them when we neglect them. Many children are in this position. They do not have fathers who have the time to listen and care for their children.
7. We provoke them when abuse them verbally and physically. Sad stories are all over us. When we abuse them, we destroy them.

Do you see how much responsibility we have as parents? It is not a joke to be a father or a mother. Unfortunately, sometimes we work so hard to be a good providers, which is important, but we lose the most important thing, to be real fathers.

… instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Eph (6:4)

3. Fathers, you are called to be trainers and instructors.

As parents, we are called to do our best in raising our children, in training them with Biblical perspectives.

You see it starts from the heart. We teach, but God gives them a new heart. We train, but to have a real change, in life, they need a transformation of the heart.

Last week’s sermon , “Jesus said I am not interested in sacrifices, I am interested in mercy.” Fathers, there is the trap in doing “church” things without conversion and repentance.

What I mean, check the list.

-Did we go to church?

-Did we give money to church?

-Did we help the needy?

-Are we “good”?

Go to my last week’s sermon. Jesus is not interested in rituals and religious practices that made the hearts of Pharisees rigid.

The best gift a parent can receive is seeing the child’s CONVERSION, accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as personal savior. It cannot happen by force. It is the work of the Holy Spirit.

MacArthur said, “The goal of parenting is not control, but conversion. It is not submission, but sanctification.”

Wonderful way he puts it.

It is not by force you can change your child’s heart.

It is not by force you can make him Christian.

It is not by submission, you can discipline him. Eventually he will turn completely against God and Christianity. I have seen this over and over. MacArthur continues, “If you change your child’s behavior without his heart (conversion), you make him a hypocrite. You need to work on the heart--redemptive parenting.”

Prov. 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

Mark 7:21-23 “For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, ²²greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. ²³All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' "

I said last week, Jesus is not interested to put patches on your old garment. He wants to give us new close. The new close starts from taking the old one. it starts from the heart.

I read though story about a pastor who had a son who became Christian. Unfortunately the cancer hit him and he had couple of days to live. His father was next to him and was praying and holding his child’s hand. The father asked him after reading verse from the Bible, “Are you afraid to meet Jesus?”

The answer was, “No, not if He’s like you, Dad”

The day my kids accepted Jesus were the best day for my wife and I. It starts from heart. This is the plan, pray and plan that your kids will find Jesus.

Paul is writing to Timothy and reminding how his parents had a major role is equipping this child, young Timothy.

“..and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. ¹⁶All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ¹⁷so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

Let me go back to Joshua as a father. He said, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

4- Joshua had a plan. What was the plan?

He and his household did not just decide to worship God, they decided to serve God.

My last point is this. We educate our children; we help them to find Jesus; we lead to God’s ways. Also we serve together as family.

I enjoyed the days when all my family helped me to serve God. We could serve by singing, by helping a needy person, by working on a project that church needs, by teaching in a camp….

There is joy in serving as a family. You are not alone. When family is united it will endure hardships together. It will rejoice together. Joshua was facing group of people who were not very faithful in their walk with the Lord.

Fathers, we are called to be fathers , let us not forget to have daily relationship with our Heavenly Father. Also we are responsible to be a father at home, a leader who loves his household and directs his household to God’s ways.

Amen