Walking in Submission, Love, and Respect (2)

Abril Hbadagov;yamp5 Sirow yv #arcankow

(God's Magnificent Work through Christ)

Ephesians 5:21-33

Mike Mason wrote in his book The Mystery of Marriage, As Iron Sharpens Iron:

“Who wins the battle of wills and whims is not the point; the point is that each tries to surrender as much as possible for the sake of the other so that the love between may be honored and built up in every way.”

Mason states that marriage is not a “comfort station for lazy people. On the contrary, it is a systematic program of deliberate and thoroughgoing self sacrifice…”

With these lines I will start to explain

The role of the man in Marriage (5:25-31)

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

Too many verses for men; maybe we need it!

. Leadership:

-Husbands need to be servant-leaders following the example of Jesus. Every team needs a leader.

Christ’s idea of leadership is a radically different concept of leadership. It is not power, privilege, praise, wealth or status. It is servanthood and commitment.

Men often misused their headship without following the example of Christ.

. Love:

- More than anything else in the passage, love is emphasized.

“Husbands, love your wives.”

“…husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.”

“He who loves his wife loves himself.”

It is agape, the unconditional love that Christ demonstrated to us. What a responsibility!

The qualities of this love are so beautiful.

- Sacrificial: “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up”

- Purifying: “to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word”

- Caring: “...love their wives as their own bodies…no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it”

- Unbreakable: “…the two will become one flesh.”

We need to be husbands who are ready to “die” for our wives as Christ did for His church. How can this happen? This is not natural; this is supernatural. Only Spirit filled persons, husbands and wives, can work together to achieve this lifestyle. The key of success in our marriage is based on our spiritual life and maturity. We need to read Ephesians from the beginning, where God teaches us how He works with us through Christ and the Holy Spirit.

Some important advice. Take it from “Uncle Nerses”:

Husbands

-Help you wives grow in their Spiritual life.

“Honey, do not worry about the kids; I will take care of them. Please go to the women’s retreat” for example, is a good way to demonstrate your caring love and concern for her spiritual growth.

-Encourage her to be in a Bible Study.

-Pray with her and with your family.

-Sit down and listen to her.

-Do something that makes her happy, not necessarily you.

-Respect her.

Wives

-Build your husband up.

-Encourage and admire him.

-Respect and honor him.

-Pray for your husband to be man of God

. Finally, how can couples maintain oneness?

Listening to the video interviews, the common thread was:

“Forgiveness, respect, and partnership in all aspects…”

Listen, we all come from different backgrounds. We need to work together to maintain the oneness that God commands us.

This is tough for some of you to hear. Some of you are widowed; you lost your dear one.

Some of you went through the pain of divorce; sometimes some of the wounds are not healed yet. You need healing.

Some other couples just live together, yet they are “divorced”. No communication, no mutual love.

How do I finish this sermon?

I would like to have moment of silence in prayer.

Please pray for two things:

1- Think of a marriage for which you are thankful, a marriage that has been an inspiration to you, whose home was a place you were loved, a marriage that touched your life in some way. Thanks God for that marriage.

2- Think of a marriage that is in trouble. Pray for them and ask for God’s help.

Amen

Additional Notes:

-Who dominates who?

Starting from Genesis, humanity was in trouble after sinning. In Genesis 3 we read that man and woman were in a struggle for power:

“I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, (And though you may desire to control your husband.)NLT; (Against your husband) ESV
 and he will rule over you.” (Gen 3:16)

Wife has desire to lead her husband, husbands has the command to rule, control his wife. This is punishment, and not blessing. This was the result of sin. This is not a very harmonious marriage.

When Christ came he restored our sinful situation that we were. Jesus gave new life to us, we all are sinners and we all need redemption. Christ is the head, and we need to learn to submit to His will. Men and women need Christ to learn to submit to Him and to each other.

So the issue is not control, although the role of man is to lead. But his leadership is based on Christ’s sacrificial love and serventhood. Love means to think first for the spouses’ needs. Love means to lay down one’s desires, needs, and life for the sake of the another. This kind of quality love comes only from God.